Catching Katy

Reads, Eats, & Everything Else


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Modern Romance

Aziz Ansari (yes, the comedian) teamed up with sociologist Eric Klinenberg to investigate the world of romance in today’s age – appropriately named Modern Romance. This book was like my holy grail – combining something I discuss and read about (and sometimes write about) a lot – relationships/dating – with qualitative research and analysis. And of course Aziz keeps the jokes coming. This is not a self-help book, it isn’t out to tell you how to date (though it does offer some good suggestions), and doesn’t promise to make you more desirable or a better dater. What it does, though, is offer some real data on the state of dating and relationships.

They collected data in numerous ways including focus groups and interviews in different locations (large & small American cities as well as internationally), talking to audience members at shows, creating a Reddit forum, consulting experts on the topic, and reviewing books, studies, and articles.

Now to me none of the information was completely earth-shattering or new, but it was interesting to feel like I am not alone in many of my feelings and experiences with dating. Even if you’re not single, this is a fascinating read. Ansari covers the history of dating and relationships, how people meet, who people marry, why people marry (and how all of that has changed), the pros and cons of technology in today’s dating world (texting, online and app dating), methods of asking people out, how to ask someone out, what to do on a date….pretty much any topic related to dating and relationships he covers.

This is a quick read that is informative and entertaining. And everyone *cough*guys*cough can get some good tips. Really, though, everyone can pick up a few tips when it comes to the opposite sex. Check it out and enjoy!

“Finding someone today is probably more complicated and stressful than it was for previous generations – but you’re also more likely to end up with someone you are really excited about”

modernromance


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Mathematics of Love

I’m training for a half marathon – my first in over 3 years – and my long runs are starting to get long. Playlists get old when you’re running at least 4 times a week, so I’m trying out podcasts instead! I started with the TED Talks station because I used to watch them regularly but haven’t in a while. This just happened to be one of the first ones on the podcast station – I promise I’m not obsessed with dating and relationships – I just come across plenty of material about it. It’s like when you get a new car and all of a sudden everyone is driving that car.

Anyway – this is entertaining. I don’t necessarily subscribe to these theories, but Hannah Fry presents the mathematical reasoning behind online dating, who to marry, and how to stay married. Nothing, especially something complex like relationships, can be completely explained by a simple math formula. But the logic she uses about online dating is very interesting!


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Love, Sex, & Dating

When I moved to Atlanta and asked people for church recommendations I heard one answer over and over: Buckhead Church. I started attending 2 years ago and may never leave. Andy Stanley is a great speaker – he preaches on a level that you can understand, can relate to, and get something out of (at least most the time; you’re unrealistic if you expect to get life-changing information out of every single message).

And just like people kept telling me to go to Buckhead Church, I have continuously heard people mention and talk about Andy’s Love, Sex, & Dating series. I finally watched it recently and now understand why people latch onto this series. The fact that Andy would do a series focusing on such a specific population of the church – singles and non-married people – simply shows how important he believes it is. He talks about the things a lot of people, especially churches, don’t want to talk about.

Here’s my challenge to you: watch the whole series. If you’re a Christian or not: watch the whole series. If you’re a male or female: watch the whole series. If you’re not dating right now: watch the whole series. If you aren’t ready to get married but even think you might want to some day: watch the whole series. If you start it and are hating it: finish the whole series. I bet you can take away at least one piece of useful information or that you’ll hear something that will at least make you think.

Buckhead Church series

Buckhead Church series


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The Dating Game

I’ve written a few posts about dating. Examples of how not to message a girl while online dating: parts 1, 2 and 3. My dating tips for guys. My take on being single. I’ve had many interesting conversations with friends – both men and women – about dating, being single, and relationships. And then I came across this post in an e-magazine I read – and it could not have come at a more perfect time (see link below after my rambling).

I enjoy hearing different takes on dating because there is no secret formula. What works for one couple will not work another couple. And that’s the beauty and the frustration of dating all at the same time.

Here is the post that spawned this post, along with recent experiences. I agree with some of this post and don’t agree with all of it. We all go into the world of dating with one thing in mind that, with certainty, morphs over time into another thing. We can’t expect to know how a relationship is going to start, progress and/or end (if it does). And a relationship should definitely be a give-and-take (greatest point of the article) – whether dating, engaged, or married. Both parties should make an effort! Enjoy reading!

should girls

 


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Dating 101

I hate to start a post on a negative note, but the current dating scene is pretty bleak. You may know people who say dating is fun, but I may venture to say that those people are not looking for the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. My experiences have not been completely awful, but I have definitely not been overly impressed by you men out there.

Here are what I consider to be some pretty simple tips for you guys out there that might help – at least from my perspective.

1. Call at some point.

I know the norm for communication in this day and age is texting, messaging, and email. I have come to accept the fact that this is true. But if you’re pursuing a girl, call. At least to set up the date or confirm the date. Yes it will be a little awkward, and no you don’t have to have a 30 minute conversation, but it shows you’re actual interested and looking forward to meeting up!

2. Make a move.

I realize that a lot of dating happens online now. That’s great – I’ve been on numerous sites myself. But don’t start messaging with a girl….and keep messaging….and keep messaging….and never ask her out. You’re wasting her time and your own. Send a few messages and if it seems like you both have some common interests, ask her out and meet in person. And yes, I still believe the guy should ask her out.

3. Make a plan.

I’m all for independent women. I consider myself a pretty independent woman considering I’ve been single forever. But if you’re a guy, asking a girl out, you should plan the date. Take charge. Sure, you can find out if she has any major hangups with particular food. Or just pick a place that has normal food with a variety of options.

4. Make an effort.

You don’t have to take a girl to a fancy, $$$-rated restaurant (at least not for me). Go to a laid-back coffee shop or bar for a drink. Pick a restaurant with a fun atmosphere. Just make it appear that you put some thought into the date.

5. Be specific.

Tell your date if you’re just meeting for drinks or if you also want to grab dinner. Especially if you suggest a time like 7pm. That could go either way – and either way is fine – but specify what you are thinking so the girl isn’t left guessing.

6. Don’t go AWOL.

If, after going out with a girl, you’re not feeling it, that’s fine. But whether it’s after one date or five, tell her that. Don’t just stop calling or texting. It’s just common courtesy, and actually the same goes for the ladies out there. Just tell him.

Again, I feel that these are pretty general and helpful tips for guys, though some ladies may feel different about certain ones. If any guy readers out there would like to guest write a post with similar tips for girls let me know!

someecards.com

A litle dating humor from someecards.com


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#single

I am 28 years old, I am single, and I am tired of being single. Don’t jump to conclusions – I do not sit around brooding over my singleness or waiting around for guys to ask me out. I do what I want with my free time (and believe me, I stay busy). I travel when and where I want to travel. I cook what I want to cook. I watch the tv shows and movies I want to watch. It’s really not a bad deal.

I enjoy my life, I just enjoy it a little more when I’m doing life with other people, and some day I’d like to do the rest of my life with one guy. That I am sure about. Someone to talk to every day. Someone to experience new experiences with. Someone to travel with. Someone to cook with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to just be with. I realize no relationship is perfect…but these are the things I look forward to sharing with someone someday.

I’m over the online dating game, as you can see by my numerous previous posts: Message Me 1, 2, and 3. It works for some people, but it’s just not my cup of tea. I’m certainly not desperate. Maybe a little picky….but who’s not at this age if marriage is something you know you want. Why waste time if there’s no future? Some might say I’m too busy to date….but in all the things I do, there’s a chance of meeting new people. And I’m not going to change doing the things I love to “make time” for something that’s not guaranteed to happen. I can’t force anyone to go out with me. So, like I said, I’m enjoying my life doing the things I love.

I am 28 years old and I am single. I do hope it’s not the case forever – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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